I read Yoshio Kataoka's "Outside of Japanese" again. I always read books with playing some music, and this time I played the soundtrack of "American Utopia". He analyses the stance of America at the Gulf War and tries to tell the difference between English and Japanese. It is interesting that we Japanese never have the word which has the meaning of the English word "I". In English, the word "I" means an absolute subject and is based on the essence of "this" existence. The Japanese word "Watashi(I)" can be changeable by others flexibly, and be decided by its relationship. This (already) shows the difference.
I had an idea that I could write my novel(s) by following Kataoka's manner. I have never been in love. I have never been loved by someone (I have loved women three times). Then I could write the themes except for love... Like Kyohei Sakaguchi, it might be interesting if I write what I am thinking 'now, this moment'. 'Now'... For example, I am listening to music by Opus III. The scenery in front of me now is the only reality of the 8th March. Following Kataka's manner, I might be able to write my novel(s) in which I would mix my experiences of this life.
In "Outside of Japanese", he analyses the English by Japanese. The English Kataoka watched was almost the one that sounds translated directly from Japanese and therefore unnatural. Of course, I might be such a speaker too. But exactly if I touch the ideas of English, sometimes I can feel the freedom from the limit of 'thoughts in Japanese'. I believe that it can broaden the range of my thought. Being open to others and deeper in my thought... too optimistic?
The night I attended a room on clubhouse. I talked about 'gifted'. 'Gifted' means a kind of autism and the person who has a special talent which is based on smartness (over 125 of their IQ). I know a person who is exactly 'gifted', and she feels the difficulty of her daily life because of this smartness/talent. The talk started from here to the strong 'peer pressure' in Japan (but, it's mysterious but, Japan seems not to join the movement against this Russian invasion of Ukraine and curb Russia). This seems to be the same as the discussion in "Outside of Japanese". Japanese has the character who watches themselves by their relationship with others, so they/we read the lines too much (this works as the limit from the relationship). This topic is really difficult.