I think I want to read novels. Usually, I read Yoshikichi Furui and Toshiyuki Horie. These stories are based on the world that is connected to our daily life, and I can think about the beauty and fragility of the world by them... Or I can think about the fun of our limited life. But reading something very fantastic can also be meaningful for me. How about Vargas Llosa? Wittgenstein says that reading books about philosophy only can work badly. Nonsense is OK. I might read Kenji Tsuchiya, who thinks about the things between nonsense to philosophy.
Today I read Eliezer Sternberg's "My Brain Made Me Do It". Yes, the title is sensational and shocking, but she tries to tell the relationship between our brains and free will steadily. She shows the result of experiences which tells us that our bodies do actions 'before' we think, then she teaches that we should accept the fact that we might be 'controlled' by our brains. I can't laugh at the word 'controlled'. If I go to the workplace, the air of the place "control" me. Or the memories I have got from the experience of working or the instinct in my body might 'control' me. I am a tiny object...
Quoting from Kouichiro Kokubun's "The First Spinoza", we can see he writes "we don't understand to explain all the things our bodies can do correctly". If we don't understand them, we don't have to think that we can control our bodies completely (because it goes far from our reality). We are not almighty. It doesn't need any complicated discussion. Just from the fact that we can't fly by ourselves and also can't live in water. But within that limit, we can stay free (you may say 'what are you saying?'). My body and mind have a lot of enigmas. I should read Damasio's books... I am also being attracted by the trial of the connection of Quantum mechanics and philosophy Roger Penrose does.
The night I went to the 'stop-drinking-alcohol' meeting. TBH it was really bothersome before I went, but I was warmly welcomed by the air the member made so I felt I got a certain power. Really fluffy... I might have to say that I am easily controlled by the place and the others. Then I can't be free from them. I might not have to think that I can control everything (especially myself). I have to go back to Kouichiro Kokubun... or I should notice that there is no truth that looks at us from outside of the world (so I have to find the truth in this world)... Ah, what is the truth? God is dead, isn't it?