Back To Life

Back To Reality

2022/02/25 English

I had a time in the morning so did training of English on clubhouse. I talked about the invasion of Russia to Ukraine. But I have to say that I'm still learning everything. I have to learn about Ukraine's history and Russia's reasons. If I clear my stance, I want to accept the fact that my opinions are always imperfect. Exchanging my ones with other people's ones, I want to make them better. In other words, I need other people's different opinions. Probably I have to get embarrassed by that process. I remember Antonio Inoki's philosophy 'becoming foolish'.

I thought it was interesting that many people talk about this war by making simulations from 'virtual' politicians or commandos. If I was the prime minister or the commando who stood in the frontline... they talk about this war by such simulations. Yes, it might be not bad, but I won't choose that stance. I am just an ordinary person in this country even if I try to describe myself as bigger. Apart from this fact, I don't want to talk by bird's eye. It's just uncool (of course, this is just one opinion), I have to remember the fact that I am just a mob or an ignorant person.

When I was a high school student, I touched the news of the Gulf War. That war was the first 'real' one for me. How the peaceful spirit of the Japanese constitution has its meaning? Or I should say how idealism has its meaning in this cruel world? Even though I was still childlike, I tried to think about them. It still is vivid for me, even if it was 'an affair of a distant country'... I react that as the event of 'a distant country' therefore I never had to grip any weapons. In this era, 'idealism' seems to be uncool. Yes, the 'idealism' which is apart from the real might cause harm to us. I should consider that in my thinking process. I have to remember it.

But, I want to believe in that power of 'idealism' itself even if I consider that harmful. The spirit of 'no war', 'never kill anyone' because there must not be any life which has to be lost. But this might just be my personal struggle. I have to read books and crush my opinions which have been formed imperfectly. I have to crush and rebuild my opinions... so I have to read Alexievitch's works. Looking at my character who likes war and trying not to say 'no' rapidly to the other's opinion. I have to stay modest. I never want to win discussions, just get closer to the truth.