Back To Life

Back To Reality

A nameless performance

Why do I write? This is also a piece of an enigma for me. Why... I like writing and I have written various things since my childhood. Many, many pieces of long novels (I wanted to make them as a long, long novel as "Record of Lodoss War"). I also wrote short novels, poems, articles... of course, now is the time we can write as novelists and poets. We can express ourselves as them. So loving writing isn't special or weird. But I do writing with crazy passion. Yes... the crazy passion which rules my life.

For me, writing means analyzing enigmas in the world. Solving mysteries in this world that can't have any clear answers. Why do we love? Why do we treat others as precious people? Why? ...Now I'm listening to The Verve's "Bitter Sweet Symphony". This tune has a powerful melody. Why does this song work a drug for me? I can make various questions from everything like this.

Yes, I'm not Wittgenstein or Kant. I'm not Proust or Flaubert. Just a nameless person in Japan therefore my ideas have not worth sharing like this... But I write. People might say that I have no talent. My ideas are crap... I already know that, but I won't care.

Yes. I'm not great... but for me, I am the person who makes this myself. Because I exist, I can write and think. In other words, for me, I am precious as the existence of Souseki Natsume or Kafka. Therefore I think that my writing has a certain value... at least. for me. For me... only?

I am writing this novel. I can't see how this will develop (or lose the plot itself). Just I have a philosophy in my mind or heart, and let out. Letting personal thoughts out can be a kind of art... I believe this because I have learned that truth from various artists' performances.