Back To Life

Back To Reality

2021/10/02

At noon, after lunch, I thought like this. I wanted to be big but couldn't. That's not strange. But I thought I got a certain skill, which is "finding the truth" that is being useful for my work and private. Not letting strange things be the same, but finding the truth and keeping it as long as it can last. This skill has been mine naturally as I was born an autistic person? Or I got this by watching movies and reading books? I can't see... but anyway I got this skill. That makes me happy.

Lining my mother, I wrote and sent her like this. "Thank you for giving healthy life to me". Except for committing suicide, I have not experienced serious illnesses. I had drunk alcohol but now I can work with a sober mind, and I can move my body freely. I enjoyed this happiness. Today was a fine day so I could feel sunlight's warmth. Enjoying sunshine just makes us happy... Kenichi Yoshida wrote like this, didn't he? I got Yoshio Kataoka's books so today was a good day. Tomorrow is a day off so I want to rest and gain vitality again.

Working, resting, thinking, sleeping, eating, reading... these things get together and become the cycle of my life. Every activity has its meaning and has not finished as a single activity. If I eat, I get sleepy. If I work, I get tired. If I get rested, I want to work... Everything is connected. Like biorhythm in my body, good times and bad times, or happy times and unhappy times get round as the cycle of my life and become myself. If I grab that, It can get happier or easier... Yes, sometimes bad times come. But good times also can come.

That night, I have watched Milos Forman's movie "Man On The Moon". I was moved by Jim Carrey's powerful acting. I have not watched his movies because I'm not a fan of his, but he makes me laugh even he changes his face as smiling or crying. I thought that the TV industry's seriousness. Watching this movie, TV programs are like arts and they are the crystals TV personalities and writers get their wisdom together. I can remember the TV world's pleasant atmosphere because I've got older with "Zenin Syuugou", a Japanese legendary program. Now can we have TV people with this kind of ambition? Yes, they might exist.