Back To Life

Back To Reality

2021/09/12 English

I've read Yasuharu Konishi's "My Beatles" a little since yesterday. The part which Konishi writes about the charm of the Beatles "Yesterday" is impressive. I didn't like this song like the Beatles' songs but recently I am getting some sympathy with the sweet regret this song describes. I don't have any regret in this life but it is evidence of happiness? Challenging something and losing it. That kind of life we have "hurt" might be a good life.

I went to a library and borrowed Scott Fitzgerald's books as "The Scott Fitzgerald book" etc. I might be a mania so it seems I will read his books from now. I have never read his books so I hope it can be good. Of course, "The Great Gatsby" is also a "must" book for me. Fitzgerald was also a loser in his life and faced it. I want to stand by the people who hurt and failed. My life is also a loser's life and I started coming here from that state.

I've watched Patty Jenkins's "Wonder Woman 1984". I didn't expect that it was a good movie because the former "Wonder Woman" was terrible. But it was interesting. Telling lies to themselves and wanting to become someone else is silly... I thought this movie is saying this. Having desires and wishes, people live and die... That might be terrible. Once I also wanted to become someone else. Now I accept myself because I can't start everything without it. I have a low voice and fat body but it is me.

Without accepting themselves, wishing to become someone else... That might mean having dreams? If so, I don't want to have any dreams. I want to live in the future which the seeds are in their current state. Once I had criticized my uncoolness. I also thought that I could be special if I could be a writer. Now I won't think so. Wherever I go, this myself follows. So I just accept and love myself. That is one of the main themes of my life.