Today I have worked late so in the morning I had read Eric Hoffer's "Working and Thinking on the Waterfront" again. Eric Hoffer was a citizen who had not experienced formal education and done reading and thinking by himself like DIY. I adore his style of life. He couldn't help reading and also thinking. The way of living connected the style of thinking. So he was strong. He didn't bend his style by tiny problems. I remember me. My way of life... I have lived such a strange life. I won't have any regret.
Having opinions, doing thinking... I read books but all I do is just see through the letters on every page. Everyone can do this. If I read pages with having no bias or empty state, my opinions or thoughts come from somewhere/nowhere. I say them in my language. But it is strange. The opinions or thoughts in those books flood into me? Or they are already in me so reading books make them clear things? Maybe both are right. I think by reading books as using tools.
A Japanese great author Shichiro Fukazawa had said that our life was just killing freedom because it was boring. Killing boredom... but it was not nonsense. A hip-hop group Scha Dara Parr said that "people just do killing boredom strictly". Works or doing love must be just killing boredom. "Do you say that the things which can't be looked productive are useless?". Yes, it might be too extreme. But ancient people write long novels as "In The Search Of Lost Time" or "War and Peace". I also have to find a way of killing this bothersome boredom.
I add another extreme opinion. Is there any meaning in my doing work or writing this journal. No. People won't think it was sad even f I didn't do my work or writing this journal. But I do work and write this journal. The problem whether it is meaningful might be the one whether we "find" any meaning. For example, if we don't "find" the usage, the pickled stone(the weight stone) might be just a stone. Like that, my journal can be just nonsense if you won't "find" the meaning or usage. So we can say that we are creative because we "find" the meanings of various things every day... I say this as the product of killing boredom.