Back To Life

Back To Reality

2021/08/17 English

Rainy days still go on. Wet and humid air makes me sick. I feel like the rainy season comes back. We had the Obon period so have to think about this autumn. The corona panic still goes on and shows no end. Thinking these things are bothersome. Thinking not too much might be the way to go through these troubles. This morning, I woke up and did my laundry, had a bath, and also had breakfast. These things made my brain clear. Nowadays I don't watch the drama "THIS IS US" but doing the routine makes me feel alright. This is the truth I have learned these years.

Today I've watched Michael Haneke's movie "Code Unknown". I didn't want to watch Haneke's movies because I had heard his masterpiece "Funny Games" had very bad taste. But that "Funny Games" was brilliant so I started watching his movies. I want to say that he is one of my favorites. I also bought his interviews and read (he is smart!). "Code Unknown" tells me the reason why we can't understand each other ("separation" is the keyword of this movie). He describes that miscommunication with thrilling touch. I want to watch his world deeply.

I had borrowed his "The Castle" so I want to watch it. This movie is based on Kafka's novel. I like Kafka. I wrote this once but I adore him. His birthday is the same as mine so I thought that my 40th birthday was the day I die. Because Kafka had died at his 40. That age would be the day my life would end... I thought like so. So I had drunk alcohol heavily. At my 40, I decided to stop drinking alcohol. My life still goes on. How will be my 50s? I want to be a cool, funky, fucking dude who reads Yoshikichi Furui.

I reserved J.G.Ballard's short novels. Oh, watching Haneke and reading Ballard... Just only these things make my mood up. I will live like this till my dying day. Having no big ideas, Just enjoying little magical things. I write about these things and show them to other people. That's enough. In addition, I have delicious meals from my group home and keep the relationship of "stop-drinking-alcohol" meetings and any other meetings. I also enjoy groovy music. That might be the secret of life.